I entered prison leaving behind my family, my work and my best friend. It was a place I never planned I would be at any time of my life. I questioned why I was there. After all, I paid restitution. I went in as a victim and came out a victor. Becoming a Victor is 
a choice. If I listened to the people who told me I would never get a job as a convicted felon, I would have been on unemployment and a prison statistic. If I listened to the people who judged and condemned me for the choices I made that led to my incarceration, I would not have experienced all that I am today. In this blog, I share with you the seven secrets to becoming a victor and not a victim.
- Move Away from the Blame Game. Even though I committed a crime, I saw myself as a victim of the “system”. I blamed the system. I learned that the “system” was my teacher. I apparently needed to be there to receive the lessons. When I recognized that I was the one responsible for being there, transformation began. Accepting responsibility for the choices we made resulting in the consequences received takes courage is part of what it takes becoming a victor not a victim.
- You Made a Mistake; you are not a Mistake. These are powerful words said to me the very first day I knew my crimes were going to be exposed. It was a low point in my life. Those words gave me the courage to move through the process. No matter what you have done, you still have value and worth. The world will say otherwise, but hold onto that truth. That truth will set you free even if the consequences remain. This is all part of what it takes becoming a victor.
- Everything Has a Divine Order. After many, many laps around the track in prison I came to understand this truth. In life, everything has a divine order. Often our choices confuse the order. When we release control and allow the spiritual power of life to take hold, we move towards being a victor and not a victim. By making the right choices, right action and consequences will follow. It does not mean the road is easy or smooth. Consequences still remain. We may not get what we want, but we will get what we need and that’s part of what it takes becoming a victor.
- Our Darkest Moments Lead to Our Greatest Gifts. By admitting weakness, we find our greatest strength. By exposing the reality of who we are and what we have done, we find our greatest acceptance. Moving from victim to victor, we still live with the consequence, but we find that we can help others along their journey.
- Move towards Grace. When we hit rock bottom, we find ourselves in complete darkness. We experience aloneness. We comprehend the depravity of our life. We understand that there is no way out if we continue making the same choices we’ve made in the past. If we choose to move forward into grace, we are truly empowered to make different choices.
- Learning and Understanding is a Process. Be patient with yourself. It doesn’t happen over night. Understanding comes from living, from experiencing and from learning the lessons life’s events offer us. As we see the consequences from our choices, we begin to connect the dots. Becoming a victor and not a victim, we understand that right action – right choices – is necessary if knowledge of our choices is to come alive.
- Our Life Purpose Is a Journey. Our life purpose isn’t a destination. It is a journey fraught with many experiences designed to give us what we need to fulfill our purpose. I have often been asked that knowing what I know now, would I have done what I did again? Of course not! However, the experience of being in prison was profound. That experience coupled with many others has provided a framework for living my life’s purpose. As a victor, understand you have a purpose wherever you are and whatever you have done.
Each choice we make is the foundation for our future. Wherever you are right now, regardless of the circumstance, you can turn adversity into opportunity. These seven secrets of becoming a victor – not a victim will help you with your journey.